


Apocalypse Reverse

by AssassinPyro13, geeky_productions, TaDiVi



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AU's collide, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Codenames, Creative Insults, Duck - Freeform, Emotional Baggage, F/F, F/M, Heat Suppressors, M/M, Monster Heat, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot, Rating will change, Slow Burn, Survival, These are not your typical undertale characters, W.D gaster is related to the skelebros as brothers, Zombies, apocalyptic road rage, bad language, chapter illustration, comedic horror, crotch jokes, cuppa tea, dark themes, fast burn, from haters to lovers, garage fetish, hate flirting, looting, monster zombie, pissy skeletons, puns, slow then fast burn, wheat fields, zombie movie references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinPyro13/pseuds/AssassinPyro13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeky_productions/pseuds/geeky_productions, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaDiVi/pseuds/TaDiVi
Summary: "Professor, he's still moving!"Leading a week later to what might have been Western Medicine's single greatest breakthrough since the invention of penicillin.Except, nobody tested the serum's potency.Green-colored glasses and all that.."It's all Their fault!" Congress screamed, laying the blame on Monsters. "Da fuq, no it ain't, Human!"Once Monsters started getting bitey, it was every soul for themselves.
Relationships: W.D. Gaster (underfell)/W.D Gaster (underswap)
Kudos: 2





	1. Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> AssassinPyro13's lil discord rp Beta'd by geeky_productions and posted by yours truly :)

"How's it look up there, scout?" A gray, skeletal face called to their companion, peering up through the grate. A small, sunny yellow head popped free once it was clear. "Dead. Or should I say dead Humans walking, Doc?" The talking bathtoy cocked his head, listening. If the moaning and shuffles were anything to go by, scout predicts there's a shit-ton of zombies out there. One usually means two, and two leads to five, and- well, you get the idea. And the only way around was on foot. Within months of Friendly Pharma's miracle drug, an outbreak covered the globe. The company's greed brought decay to Major cities; broken cars, collapsed buildings, tons of trash and overgrown sewage. Gangs of crazed humans and Raiders (like our scout) brave the urban jungle for resources. For one duck cannot live on corn alone. And he unfortunately drew the short straw. 

A flesh eater shambled close to the fallout shelter not seeing the mallard (luckily for him.) Scout tucked his head and body down, listening. Among the moans and groans came a fresh one from a heaping pile of rubble off in the distance. Possibly someone trapped in the piles of concrete. The rubble, while caging them in the city also was their only cover. And the feathery scout was the best at stealth. He waddled slowly, careful to not make a sound. With a widdle he made his way up and around bins of dumped junk. Upon closer inspection the mallard noticed a pale hand hanging limply out of the rubble. He gave it a brush with his bill. The survivor's fingerbones twitched. 

"Stuck like Chuck, huh?" Scout thought aloud, feathers puffed. The hand twitched, an older voice rasping out: "Heeelp! Pleeaase!!" A zombie punk with a melting hairdo drew close at the voice, groaning curiosity. The duck called towards the fallout, "D-Doc, we have a live one." and "Give me a hand?" With conjuring and intense concentration a pair of vector-formed claws manifested from the grate. "Keep focus on the survivor, Scout." Spoke the gray face from his hidey hole in the shelter. Scout trained the Travel Pro camera strapped to his back on the survivor. Doc's sophisticated device and precise hands pulled at the hapless skeleton. **"Hello? Is someone out there?!"** called the survivor.

"Gonna be bird feed if you don't hush" the scout warned. Doc's Magical claws worked away at the rubble digging, picking and scratching to free them. The Monster gave a weak thumbs up, accepting assistance to pull his other arm free. Mismatched lazer blue and tangerine orange eye lights peered up at his rescuers, unfocused. After several scarred socket blinks he picked up the pear-shaped blob of yellow in his good eye. "Hello there." The scout quacked "You wanna live, follow me." 

Doc's summoned claws vanished once the tall look-alike pulled the rest of himself out of the pile.

"You don't have to tell me twice." The skeleton groaked, crouching on two's to get his bearings. **"Grarr!"** Punk zombie lunged at them and missed; knocking over a trashcan. The battered Skeleton in a tattered white coat turned to the duck "I think we should hurry." He collected the scout, slogging into a run as a screaming groupie of zombies followed at their heels. The terrified bird cried, "Dooooc, we need a shield!" Doc's assisting claws snatched a slab of sheet metal. "Who are-" the survivor paused, watching the vectors lift the heavy material like a shield, knocking zombies left and right. "Cool!-OOF!" The fleeing skeleton bumped into a cruiser. It's vehicle alarm blared. Loudly. Incessant screech alerting every brain-muncher in the town of a potential feast. "Humphrey, hurry!" shouted the duck's companion from inside the fallout grate. Humphrey the duck let out a, **"YOU GOTTA BE DUCKING ME!"** narrowly missing a grab.

**"Hold on buddy!"**

Humphrey flapped his small but powerful wings off the ground. The skeleton grabbed onto his webbed feet as the water bird achieved impossible flight. Another Quack. "Don't look down, buddy." Humphrey FLAP FLAPPED higher and higher above the hoard. "What's your name?" A faint smile "Siren." Siren the skeleton curled his legs under him like a kitten being carried away by his mother. His eye lights boggled down at the number of infected flooding the streets; chasing them from the ground. Some infected clambered onto cars and rubbish to reach for them. others stupidly jumped to their deaths from windows and rooftops. **FLAP FLAP FLAP!**

"Doc, coming in for a landing- open the DOORS!"

With a whirring and clanking the slate parted, opening into a bunker, revealing stairs. Humphrey dove in like his life depended on it; flapping past a 26 hands tall figure donning a welding suit and brandishing a flamethrower. Siren allowed himself to relax. No matter how odd it felt trusting strangers he put his dignity aside for safety and possible medical attention.

One hapless zombie crawled its way inside the grate- making a lunge for them. The Suit reacted. A 4000 psi capable torch activated using half its power with a squeeze of the trigger. "NYEEEEHHEHEH" FWOOOOOSH!! The modified blow torch left the zombie extra crispy and smoking on the ground. Not the kind of barbeque you'd want to eat on a Sunday Luncheon. A steel-toed boot kicked out the remains, locking the shelter hatch.

Humphrey's bill combed over his rattled plumage. "T-too close." Siren landed on his boney butt, giving a yelp. Rubbing his tailbone the skelly clambered wobbly to his feet, bad arm holding him up against the wall. "Wowsers, that's enough excitement for a while." Siren thought aloud. The door sealed just as the hoard slammed into it. "Ho ho ho, not todaaay!" Doc chortled, cranking the other locks. Doc's much taller ally folded his arms, spitting out deep and scratchy, "NYEH THEY'RE PERSISTENT JUST LIKE YOU, MECHANIC."


	2. Dogfood Blues

Siren spun on his heel sizing up up the grungy skeleton in worn jeans, leather boots, biker jacket and a wife beater. Yeah, a real winner from his gang marked threads. In opposition you had Doc, brains of the operation and vector user.. looking like Siren's long lost brother from another mother. All except his matching, soft red eyes and sharp cheekbones. His rescuer donned an oil-stained dickie suit, thick soled welding shoes and goggly smile. With a large utility belt around his thin waist to hold it all together. "Hello to you too, stranger." 

"More skeletons!" Siren appraised "I thought the other two and myself were the Last!"

The torch weilder turned to intimidate Siren, in his eight and a quarter feet glory. "What other two?" He demanded, hot breath in Siren's face, growling, "WAS ONE OF THEM FAT WITH A VULGAR MOUTH?" His sour breath hit Siren upside the nostrum "Eeeh! Mint much?" Siren whined to the taller "One WAS majorly fat and his brother bout as tall as you." "Me?" The giant laughingly scoffed. 

The mechanic stuffed a dismissing hand into his pocket, frowning. "Pity.. No, I suppose our luck wouldn't run that deep. Better to think he... than one of those roamers." Doc's companion narrowed his sockets, poking Siren in the sternum. Ouch. "Whatever your name, freeloader, we didn't save you for common decency" he grumbled "Pull your own weight or find another shelter." Tired, sore and feeling attacked the smaller slapped the giant's hand off "I JUST got here!" He barked, waving his good arm; the other hanging at his side. "Can I breathe for one second before you start demanding work!" then trailed off to a near whisper "...Do any of you have first aid?"

Both Monsters tensed. Humphrey however waddled over with their medical kit under wing. Siren's clone halted him. "Wait. Friend" Doc asked "Were you bitten?"

"It's Siren, and no." the weary survivor muttered "My arm broke when the rubble fell."

"And your friends" the biker Skeleton husked in query "Were they bitten?"

"My friend's brother was, Soldier. He Shoved me away before the explosion." Siren's expression soured. "Last I saw them Cook had Soldier lassoed; riding him into the hoard." The biker shared a look of horror with Doc. The mechanic recovered first "I see. Sorry for the inquisition, can't be too careful these days. Humphrey, bring the kit here.” Their scout set it down for him.

Siren smiled shakily "I understand your worry.. Considering I'm a Doctor." Doc gave his doppleganger a second-over hopeful look "I am Gaster, but uh.." Gaster laughed "I'll have to change my code name. I'm actually a mechanic and shit at first aid." 

Siren tittered at the irony "Hue hue hue! You can just call me a Medic then." he takes the med kit and snorts MEDic! MedKIT!! HUE HUE HUE!!" He pulls open the box and his eyes shrink at how few supplies they have.

The Nosey biker barges in, again "And where are these brothers now, Doctor?" Medic gave him a shrug "I can only guess by the lack of undead, Spike's bomb succeeded." "What bombs??" Biker demanded, only to be ignored by a ho hum of understanding from Gaster "A bold move and I'm sure your friends survived, Siren." pushing a little hope into him. 

"Hmmm" Biker left, stalking off to his side of the building. "Whatever." Humphrey perked up "Wow, a Doctor? Maybe things ARE looking up for us." 

"NYEH, DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH." grumbled Biker, gritting his sharp bicuspids and banging around in his tool locker. "That stick-in-the-mud is Papyrus." Humphrey pointed out with a wing in the moping biker's direction. The testy skeleton gave the bird his middle finger variant.

Medic finished wrapping his own arm in gauze to stop the bleeding. "Nice to meet you all. I.. lost my bag of supplies in the scuffle. Otherwise I would have shared them." Gaster gave Medic a wistful look "Ohhh supplies." Which Gaster related to rations, and rations food. A wistful breath "I would give anything for real food instead of this processed, canned shit."

"LANGUAGE!" Papyrus barked from the back. "Says the guy who flips birdies." mumbled the duck. A biker helmet came flying at Humphrey's face "AWK!"

Siren let out a moan of thought. "Cook could make a banquet out of canned food..." Medic brought his good hand to his chest "Oh, I miss his cooking so." All the talking about Cook's food had his stomach growling "Ehh..." Gaster, aka Mechanic lifted his head from tinkering a junk car "Speak of the devil, aye?" he wiped oil off his hands "There should be half a can left of beans in the fridge, Medic." Medic gave the fridge a cursory look. Empty milk carton. Three bottles of booze and a container of Dog Food? Well, that explained some things.

"Whaat, please tell me you didn't leave it in the can, Doc!" Humphrey begged. Gaster huffed, "Very well, I did not leave half an eaten can in the fridge." his said can of beans was flimsily wrapped with tinfoil to keep it fresh. "I can't eat that" Medic sighed "I'll get sick." Papyrus rustled around in his bag, tossing Vienna Sausages at Medic "To spare the poisoning." Medic barely caught it, bringing the tin to his mouth he jawed it open; picking the sausages out with his fingers. "Uh, Papyrus when do you three plan on going on a supply hunt?"

Papyrus pointed to the duck "That was our scout's job."

"HEY!" Scout hissed "At least I brought SOMETHING back this time!" waggling his tail defensive.

Medic polished off his can with a hesitant look. "If.. you will permit me" Siren gets up using his own strength "Soldier hid supplies and gave us maps should we be separated. I still have mine." All three had the survivor's attention now "I could take someone to the drops and pick them up." Papyrus turned a distrustful glare on Siren, about to say something then-

"EXCELLENT!" Mechanic jumped in "We'll all go. I'm itching to get Matilda out for a test drive."

"...Matilda?" Medic's brain stuttered to make sense. Mechanic giddily clapped a hand "She's in the back. Come see!" He Kermit-flailed, arms hyper swinging loose over his head towards the garage...

Six Feet tall and six feet wide with 14 passenger seats stood mechanic's pride and joy, Matilda; complete with tinted windows, spiked front and back and refurbished seats. After a whole minute of appraising Medic spoke "Huh.. looks like something from Mad Max."

That only encouraged Medic "DOESN'T SHE?" hands clasped as if talking in length about a high-school crush.

"Sooo.." Medic yawned "When can me make a supply run, Gaster?"

"Hmmm, tomorrow." Gaster confirmed "If we wait any longer Humphrey could be on the menu."

 **"Whaat!?"** Humphrey startle-flapped from the open door. And considering Papyrus ate dog food, eating duck lorange wasn't out of the realm of "maybe." Medic's eye sockets drooped, threatening to shut. "Sounds good." body still firing off signals of anxiety for his friends. Mechanic turned to him "Yes, I fear it's already too dark. those damn things travel in packs. Unless you WANT to be ambushed in a dark alley, Medic." Medic waved his good hand "No, no I'm just.. Cook and Soldier are like family to me. I'm worried for them." the banged-up skeleton hugged his arm.

Mechanic furrowed his brows "I.. can relate."

Siren asked "Where can I rest?"

Mechanic snapped back to attention "Let me get the extra bed roll. I usually sleep in the back of Matilda but can take the couch." He walked to the locker, pulling out a worn but cozy-looking sleeping bag and camp pillow. A thankful hum from Medic "Sleeping off the ground is a nice change. I'm.. not booting anyone off am I?" he fiddled with the zipper, opening up the bag.

"Not at all." Gaster assured "Good night sleep tight, Siren." A nod from the tired Monster, laying out the blanket over the worn couch. Mechanic's eye lights fizzed a bit " **Don't let-the- zombies-raid-in-your-sleep-and-rip-you-to-bits."**

(WHAT!) Medic's mind shrieked with horror. Humphrey retaliated, whacking Gaster with a wing "NO! Just forget everything he said. We're enclosed." The traumatized skeleton gave an eye-twitch "Goodnight, Medic." Humphrey hopped up, loafing the back of the couch "We raid, bright and early."

"Yes." Medic took out a small vial from his pocket, popping the last one in his mouth. He swallowed, flopping onto the pillow with a world-weary sigh. Papyrus switched off the shop light, whuffing off to the side of the room to drop into the squeaky, dimly lit desk chair. His crash spot. "Don't let the Human's bite."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Surviving Monsters have a nice chat, we discover Siren has allies, Papyrus eats dog food, and Mechanic has a boner for machinery.


	3. Pet Names

Siren tapped an arm, waiting for his Heat suppressor to kick in so he could sleep. Raising the bottle he whines, "Scout.. We can’t hesitate at the cache site." Humphrey frowns back. "You say that like It's in a bad location, buddy." Siren shook the bottle. "It kind of is. But that's not why we need to hurry." **SHAKE SHAKE!** "These things only last for a handful of hours. And I took my last one.” Humphrey tucked a wing. "If it makes you feel better, we don't move about during daylight.” the duck sighs. “Doc insists we use the cover of twilight. Gives us about an hour to raid then get out.."

"That.. actually does make me feel better." Siren relaxes his shoulders. "Maybe if we're lucky, Soldier will be there too." A tired quack "I'm sure he will, buddy." Matilda jiggles a bit. There's a faint fumbling from the bus then Mechanic's snoring. Papyrus grunts from his desk "You got five hours. So shut up and sleep." snicking off his lamp. "Ooh someone is grumpy.” Siren drawls “Fine, next time I run out of suppressors I won't mention it." Papyrus flips a gruff "Whatever." blanket pulled over his face. "Entitled brat.” Medic grumbles “No respect for elders."

Come before morning Siren's on the bus perusing the map by pocket flashlight. He looks up from his position. The map pinpoints the closest cache spot, out of city limits in a wheat field. "There's one of them less than a mile out." Papyrus turns Matilda in that direction. Humphrey wibbles like a bobble head from his perch near the window. “B-b-bumpy.” Siren gives the field a nervous glance. "You.. don't think They (zombies) will follow from this far out do you, Medic?" Medic shrugs at him. "I can't say for sure. That's why we need to keep our eyes open.” Siren scans the purple horizon for the umpteenth time for movement. "I don't think so if Soldier felt this place was good to cache." "Can anyone see the box?" Biker scoured the distance for a moment then, "If you mean the big green thing" points "It's North East of the road." Siren hops up and down in his seat "YES! THAT'S IT. That's the cache, Papyrus!" Their driver grins, revving up the motor; bus bouncing off road and crashing through the fence. Not that anyone will care if the cows get out.

The bus bullets towards the pasture and across the field at fifty, maybe sixty miles easy, Matilda giving a **CHUNKA CHUNKA VRRRRR!!!**. Humphrey flaps and flails "P-P-PARK NOT CRA-A-ASH!" Papyrus ignores the fowl, coming in full-throttle crowing "NYEHAHAHA!!!" The raid team makes out a tall supply trunk. With a miraculous swerve and twist of the wheel Matilda sweeps into a perfect stop beside the cache kicking up a dust cloud. “Like a glove.” Papyrus jokes. Gaster bails out, hugging the ground. Humphrey waddles in a daze "I-I'M DRIVING next time." It's a good thing Siren didn't eat anything before they left. He looks a bit green in the skull, hobbling over to Soldier's cache box. Kneeling down he inputs the safe code into the lock "Who wants the honors of opening this thing?" Medic asks his ragtag group.

Doc crowds in excited "May I?" Siren chuckled "If you want." standing back to give him full access to the box. Medic opens his map circling off area one of fifteen. "Hm, that many?" Papyrus queries over shoulder "And what of your friends? I don't see anyone else out here." In answer Gaster cranes his justified neck "PAPYRUS, you are being ridiculous. There's no ambush. Shut up." Siren almost crushes the map "I told you, they ran off! It's not like either would leave me under mortar on purpose. There's no point in a trap that could kill me." Papyrus ignores his tirade "What's in there, Doc?" Siren puffs his cheeks at being ignored putting away the cache map. "Supplies, you goober." Gaster retorts.

Inside the cache they find boxes of ammo, a military-grade rifle, several food packs, cans of random edibles, waters, matches, flares, thermal blankets and med kits; everything Soldier felt useful. “Bless his prepping heart.” The duck spoke, getting emotional over blankets. Doc felt like a kid at Christmas Morning, investigating all the goods front to back. “What luck, everything’s in good condition.” Papyrus leaned against the large chest, "Get what we need and lets go." "Siren, can the bus carry all this?" Doc asks. In response Siren attempts to lift the box himself. With a weak grunt something falls out. A small picture. "He kept this!?" Medic breathes. Doc pokes around him ever curious "This is them, Siren?" In the picture Three skeletons stand posing soberly for the auto timer. Gaster points to Cook. "Tall fellow isn't he?" A soft laugh from Siren, "Yes, despite how skinny he is, that's Cook." Skinny for a skeleton being lack of bone mass. Cook has hard edges all about him and darkness around the eyes; signs of fatigue. Siren then points to the fatty with a brow-bone piercing, bandanna on his skull and brown leather jacket. "This is Soldier. You can thank him for the crates. He cached them for emergencies and heats.. which reminds me." Medic dug deeper, reaching for the bottle of fresh suppressors "Thank you Soldier."

A thoughtful hum from Gaster "I'd like to meet them, they seem nice." Papyrus grabs an armful of cans, brow bone furrowed "I'm sure we'll run into the brothers sooner or later." gathering spoils. Medic silenced then, glancing past the bus at a frozen figure wearing a brown-leather jacket too big for his frame. The other stared back at Siren with wide, watery eye sockets and a dropped jaw. "COOK!" Siren bolted for him pulling the taller monster into his arms, clutching his coat. Cook hugged back, holding his own map. "I thought I'd never see you again!!” Medic wailed “THANK STARS YOU'RE ALRIGHT, COOK!!"

Mechanic approaches, adjusting his goggles "Hello, friend." waving. Papyrus watches their exchange intensely, noting there's just one skeleton. Siren pulled away cupping Cook's head in his hands. "Where.. Where is Soldier?" Cook lowered his eyes, both their expressions drop. "I see. Come. You will stay with us." Siren takes the others hand, leading him to the group; belatedly noticing who's jacket Cook was wearing.

Inside the bus Papyrus loads up, leaving behind only the cache box while Gaster greets their new member "Hi, welcome to team misfits. I'm Mechanic and this bird is Scout." "I prefer Humphrey" Medic points to Papyrus next "And that's Biker. Our Driver." "Papyrus." Biker rumbles back. Cook's head rose a bit, appraising the giant and nodding politely "Hello." and a smaller "hello." hands clutching the coat around his shoulders like a security blanket. He paused a long moment "It's a relief to meet other survivors." Siren gave his back a solid pat "While you two catch up, I'll help Biker-" "-PAPYRUS! And I'm not joining your stupid code-name party." the titan bit back. "I’ll help Papyrus with supplies." Siren amended, wobbling to the back of the bus out of the line of fire. Gaster didn't miss a beat "So, lovely weather we're having today."

Cook stares long and hard at Doc "You look like my dad." he blurts out in all awkwardness. Doc reacts with a surprised "Ehh?" while Humphrey makes himself comfy in Cook's lap. "That's not what I meant to say, it's just.." Cook replies, looking to Siren for help, unaware of his code name. "Not that it matters." The effeminate stamps his dainty-booted foot, moving quickly to Siren like a lost gosling. "Uh, I didn't really say anything." Mechanic mumbled, fiddling with his thumbs. "You all look alike to me. Humphrey adds" Gaster plays with the compact disc player rifling Papyrus collection for something to commemorate the reunion. Should he be concerned most of them consist of hip hop and death metal?

Medic pipes up from the back "Don't mind Cook, Doc. He's pretty similar to Bike- Papyrus too. He winces when Biker throws an empty can at him "OW! What?!" "Typist, I'm nothing LIKE him." points a rude claw at his almost perfect effeminate, who he's damn sure is male. Humphrey pops a random disc in (to docs chagrin) "You two look related." Papyrus rebuttals with an acidic "Hsss, I should HOPE not. I only have ONE brother. And he's probably dust." the mood drastically sours "And a sister." Gaster mutters. Biker furiously wipes his face with an arm "Just, SHUT UP. We got all we came for, let's go." Cook rebuttals Biker's rebuttal "MY brother's a feral zombie. And I'm nothing like this twat at all!" pointing an accusing finger at Papyrus. Then "Father, can we leave?" looking to Siren for assurance. Medic caves "Yes, my bean sprout.” accepting his new role “Strap in everyone. Safety first.”

While Papyrus looked supremely offended ("TWAT?") Mechanic thankfully cut in before spells started flying with a clapped "Yes, yes, it's getting bright, harder to hide." **CLAP CLAP!** Siren passed one of his suppressors to Cook, whispering once they were seated (and belted) "Here, take this. I can smell your heat for miles, Edge." Edge accepted the medicine gulping it down dry. Papyrus meanwhile drove with extreme focus, The Black Eyed Peas pump and grinding their beats while he swerves every now and then to miss potholes. The first thing to suffer from the decline (minus innocents) was the world’s infrastructure and that included roads. With people fighting to get out of cities via wheels the asphalt kept grinding down until there were cracks and breaks throughout. But this did not deter Biker in the least. Humphrey held onto the dash for dear life "Heeere we go agaaaa-a-a-a-a-aaain!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After an eventful night our misfits reach the cache site. Cook joins the party, confirming that his brother Spike is now feral (infected) and Papyrus ramps up a world record for zombie bumpers.


	4. Face-Off

Siren held onto Edge through the drive, while his own body burned for relief. He'd forgotten the pill for himself hours earlier, and now he was paying dearly for it. Seated closest to their misery and behind the driver Gaster cleared his throat. "Are you alright, Medic? You look a bit.. flushed." The medic covers his mouth with a sleeve. "It's just m-my Heat... I'll be fine, Gaster." The mechanic ho hummed back, “You don't sound fine to me, my friend." Up in front Papyrus taps the break as he overhears. "You're WHAT!” the bus lurches. “For how long!” Papyrus squawks. “Are you trying to get us killed?!" he scolds through the rear view mirror. “Gasterrr, you KNOW Hunters are drawn to Heat. It’s not just them at risk.” From behind Gaster rests a warning hand on Papyrus shoulder, gripping it tight "Pappyyy, be nice." ("Of all the idiotic..!!")

"We're keeping it managed!" Siren jiggles his bottle with a shiver. "Don't mock us Bearers alright?" Edge supports Siren with, "Lest we strangle you in your slee-e-e-eep! JKDFHLKASJ!!!"

**THUNKA THUD!**

Matilda bounced “NYEH IT WASN’T MOCKERY!” Papyrus hit another bad patch on the already rubbed raw median. Siren let up his choke hold on Edge, whispering "How many times must I tell you, don’t antagonize Him." Not enough apparently.

"And LANGUAGE!" Papyrus barks. Edge swore back a colorful, "FUCK YOU, BIKER!!!" Papyrus grazed a huge gap, swerving dangerously. "Ohhh, my poor stoooomach. Pappyyyy I can't take thiii-i-i-i-i-iiiiis!" Gaster whined, holding on for dear life to the seat "FUCK YOU HARDER, WANKER!!" Edge shrieked.

**THUNKA THUNKA!**

Edge almost fell out of his seat at the next swerve. "Cook, Shhhhhh!” Siren covered his mouth, “Heat is no excuse to be aggressive to our driver." ("Our life is in his hands right now.") Scary as it was. Papyrus managed to pull out of the gap, returning to the bumpy road. "Grrr, you're sleeping in the garage tonight, brat." glaring pointedly at the Edge through the mirror. “Technically" Humphrey quacked in their defense from the front, "We all sleep in the garage." Edge kicked out at the seat. "I'll SLEEP ON YOUR FACE!!” then did a double-take “W-wait, wut?" confusing himself with his Freudian slip. Siren burst out in a "HUE HUE HUE HUE- **SNORT SNORT!!** " Papyrus on the other hand went very quiet, face smothered against the wheel. "P-Pappy, eyes on the road please!" Gaster cried from the back seat, gripping it for dear life.

Edge remained a study of red and embarrassment. He smacks a giggly Siren. "SHUT UP!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAAAT!!! REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Papyrus stepped on the breaks, cutting off Edge's tirade poking his head out the driver window. “Zoms.” A carpet of them blocking the road like overzealous, cannibalistic cattle. "Gaster, get the torch. We're going through." The motor revved above the loud groaning and groaks of the infected. Far back of the small horde a feral skeleton stalked them. He was big and wide like a junkyard dog (with teeth to match.) A Leroy Brown with empty eyes; frothing not unlike a rabid animal. His old bite mark stood out like a giant bruise on his collar bone. As if that weren't bad enough Edge called the Feral’s attention, pointing. "No-Wait Papyrus!!! My brother's up there!! Don't hurt him!!!" Papyrus hand froze on the clutch. “NYEH!?” (“Bitch you nuts!?”)

Gaster shudders from his back seat, "I'm m-more worried he'll hurt us, Cook." the mechanic tucks his hands into his poorly chosen soft-gray parka. A sigh from Siren. "Biker, do what you need to do." Then the medic turned to Edge. "Your brother will be fine! Even in this state the damage won’t hurt (“that much.”) A small whine from Edge. "Promise me?" Siren gives the illusion of a nod. Edge embraced him thankful. Papyrus needs no more urging, shifting into overdrive. The back wheels spin before Matilda careens forward. Hundreds of solid thuds and wet smacks register from inside the bus. It was enough for Gaster to dry heave. Humphrey hid under the seats while Gaster held tight to the flame thrower with one hand. Papyrus mowed through the crowd fairly well, but with the horde growing he quickly lost momentum. "Nyeh, Dammit! You're not stopping me that easy!" Papyrus grips the clutch, yanking into reverse before he slams the gas. **THADUM-CRUNCH!** Music to Biker's adrenaline-laced ears.

Soon all that remained was the Feral, standing fearless in the middle of the road. Papyrus speeds forward. “Nyeeeeeeeeh!!” meaning to ram him (Edge screaming himself hoarse in the background.) The Feral grabbed onto the bumper, climbing up the hood of the bus with brute strength, and the serious munchies. “RUUUUUAAAAGGGHGHH!” Tyrano-roaring at their window; hungry for Papyrus in all the wrong ways. "RAAAAAAAAH!!” Papyrus roared back, making a narrow turn to shake the mad monster off. Soldier dug his claws deeper into the alloy of iron. Matilda's tires squealed, the next spin landing in a pothole.

Siren loaded the assault rifle as Soldier taught him; cocking it before stumbling to the front. Armed with the AK-47 Siren trained it on the Bara, holding desperately to his catch. "Don't make me do this, Spike." not giving a shit about code names in the heat of their exchange. "Spike, I know you're still in there.” his finger rest on the trigger/ “Please, don't make me shoot you!" Dead sockets stared back. Slamming the gas, Papyrus pulled out of the pothole, Spike still stuck to the hood; stubborn after life as before death. "Spike, brother. I'm sorry!" Siren aimed, shooting out the glass. It clipped the Spike's face. The second shot caught him between the eyes. Spike lost his grip, rolling across the road. Edge stares in horror as his older brother lay on the pavement emotionless. Not waiting around to see if he’s “okay” Papyrus drove off. The sun sinking low is the last thing they need to add to their growing list of problems.

"Pappy, I-I-Is it over!?" Gaster whined from the back." "YEAH, you can pull your head out of your butt and take a seat." Papyrus grumbles. Gaster wiggles out from under the chairs, whining at the damage. “My baby..!” Siren still cradles the gun. "Sorry bout the window." he puts the safety on, strapping it over shoulder. "No, I-It's alright Medic. Glass can be repaired. (But not my heart!")

The bus hissed to a slow stop. There's still a lot of creepers and jumpers in the undead trail-mix blocking their entrance back to base. Any sane person would climb up the fire escape from the top of the bus or lure away their undead fan base. Instead, Papyrus put the vehicle in neutral. "Give me that." snatching the torch from Mechanic. “These zombies are getting on my last nerve.” So it's option C. Siren's body shivers from both adrenaline and Heat. Edge whimpers in the background, “Don’t call them that.” Humphrey quacks agreement.

"The both of you," Papyrus gravels "Leave it to me." With a boot-kick the doors open, the flame thrower’s safety's trigger off "I'll make a path." In any other instance his Ala flambe` style might have been welcomed. But the only thing worse than fresh zombie was cooked zombie. Something along the lines of burnt rubber, skunk after fumes with dead horse aroma and a pinch of putrified bonfire. Delicate stomach reaching its limit, Gaster hurled violently out the open door.

Medic turned to the whining skeleton. "Edg-Cook, help Doc." Edge nodded, holding the worn coat closed. "Edge,” Gaster called to him, still a bit wobbly “Just.. just grab what you can and come with us." Bus locked the team makes their way to the Fall Out Shelter. Papyrus protecting the rear. "You and that stupid van.." Gaster returned his scowl. "Bus." A van has four wheels." Papyrus gives a flippant, "Whatever. I'll clear them to get the big rolling turd inside." Humphrey holds Doc's pants leg before he can get into it. "Ain't worth it, chief." Their argument’s drowned out by a Jumper zombie hitting the side of the bus with a solid **THUMP!** Who needs anger management when you can barbeque instead? Papyrus's canister gives a hiss then he fires the trigger, nyeckling. "NYAAAAHAHAHAH WHO WANTS SOOME!"

“NOT MEEEE!” Gaster ran the rest of the way, nostrum smothered with both hands. Way finally clear Matilda rolled in, returning to her happy Garage home.

"ARE YOU ALL IN YET?" Siren called, taking another head-shot at a Crawler. Papyrus is last to retreat with a half can salute **FSHOOO!!** Slamming the reinforced sliding door shut. The dying brightness of sunset gives way to a dismally dull and depressing artificial lighting from the Garage. "Home sweet home." Humphrey muttered, waddling off with his spoils.

"COOOOUUUUUUCHHHHHH!!!" Edge took a swan dive for the old furniture, rolling and purring loudly into her stuffing. And who could blame him after enduring the stiff seats in Matilda? Still standing, Siren let out a rough shiver of "F-fuck... why hasn't the pill kicked in yet?" he rubs at the itch steadily climbing up his arms and across his spine. It wouldn’t be so bad if monster Heat didn’t take away a monster’s mental processes, reason, and turn them into needy beasts. And the competing masculine scents of Siren’s present companions didn’t help! Still stacking the food cans, Gaster turns to them. "Hm, something wrong, Medic?" Siren dropped his gun to the side (safety on thankfully.) "My medicine.." the medic self-hugs himself "H-hasn't kicked in...nhh…" Papyrus cut his vermillion eyes to the hapless monsters, one getting intimate with the couch and the other huddled into himself. "Take. Another. Suppressor." he spat out coldly. In which Gaster reels, giving Biker a warning slappity-slap to the arm. "Stop scaring him, Pappy."

"YOU CAN'T TAKE TWO SUPPRESSORS!!" Medic all but wailed. "That would be an over d-dose!” he pokes a finger at Papyrus. “I c-can't afford to get s-sick on, nhhh.." he sank to the floor, curling up. Papyrus took another step "Well, maybe your suppressors are faulty and you need a real dose, Genius." The dominant male spoke, eyes alight with fire.

“Enough!” Gaster shoved Biker back. "YOU. ME. Talk. Now." herding his unruly companion towards the back room. The door slams, leaving poor Siren alone with his suffering. "C-can't.. re..dose.. I made them!" He almost hurls, flinching when Edge wraps them in a crocheted blanket, bringing Siren with him back to the couch. "Thank you, Cook..."A delicate harumph from Edge. "He's a twat." "Weeell, yeahhh." Humphrey agrees. "Would some tea help?" the pair looked over. "If you have it then yes." Siren fumbles to get comfortable. "Oohhh I can feel my mind closing down as we speak, Humphrey. Please, some tea will help!" Humphrey waddled off at full speed to make it.

While in the back room there was a one-sided shouting match going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus ups his kill score, Edge wants to sit on his face and Siren needs a Suppressor that works.


	5. Over Heated

The shouting match (and collateral damage) ends half an hour later. Gaster stumbles out looking drained and pale. “Edge, do you have another Suppressor?” the mechanic asks, head poking around a hill of tech books. The Garage is a mixture of Bachelor pad, wet bar and Choppers anonymous, with bits and bobbles of bike-related memorabilia peppering the walls. Artsy decals grace just about every surface, along with yellow feathers. Doc stands at the center of it all, hands laced. "I think my brother-" A sharp kick to the back door from angry boots interrupts, Papyrus shouting “STEP-BROTHER, REMOVED!” Gaster quickly corrects himself, “Pappy definitely needs one.. if his tension (and mine) is anything to go by.”

Siren unfurls from Edge’s side. “That depends, Doc. Is he going into Heat o-or Rut?” shuddering as Edge fishes through his deep pockets for the medicine. In the back there comes a loud, shattering crash. Gaster smothers his face with a hand, trying not to dwell on what’s being broken. “Rut, I would think.”   
Edge offers the half-full bottle of Suppressors to Gaster. “Take only one. I’ll need the bottle back.” He glares hotly at the door beyond him. “Last thing we need is Him breeding one of us.” 

In the background Siren softly mewls his objection. “So cruuude, Cook!” Turning on the faded, green couch to get comfortable. With minimal success. “Thank you, Edge.” The smashing’s died down by now. Doc takes the bottle, breaking a nervous sweat “Co-could the both of you move back, away from the door as possible? I don’t want Pappy getting the jump.” Which he easily might. Edge nods his understanding, bending to Siren’s ear. “Come on father, get up.” He jokes. 

The medic shakes his head. "But it's hooooooot!" mewling his misery. The ripening scent of leather and crude oil isn’t helping. Gaster lifts a hand, “Actually let me try this. Hold onto him, Edge.” Doc summons his handy vectors, the pair scooting the couch before lifting it up; carrying skeletons and sofa far across the work room. The purple magic sets the duo down gently against the wall near to the entrance. “There. I’ll be right back.” Gaster’s tinny voice shudders (“If Pappy doesn’t crush me to dust.”) He slips into the farther back room, quickly locking the door behind.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GET OUT!!" Papyrus roars at his smaller ex-sibling. There’s loud scuffles and cursing heard all the way across the Garage. Siren clings to Edge. “Hold still Pappy!” Doc catches him off guard, wrestling Papyrus to the oak desk. "GET OFF ME YOU FRUIT!" Gaster grips his jaw, managing to pry the bottom open a bit. "NYAAAAAGHGJKG!" It’d be easier to give a cat a pill than contend with Biker’s shrieking fit. “Swallow.” Doc coaxes, forcing Papyrus down until he’s certain the stubborn skeleton’s absorbed it. The room looks like a small hurricane blew through, bits and bobbles of machinery scattered; papers and photos torn off the walls, lockers dented and gaping open. Gaster sighs, letting up his grip. “Was that so hard Pappy?”

Siren meanwhile tries his best to hide inside the Sofa. “Coming here was a bad, bad idea Edge.” he whines to his friend. “M-my heat never ever would have.. have started if I hadn’t.. not this bad at least..” he trails off, thoughts a mess. His gaze lingers over an automated fishing bass trophy on the opposing wall. Edge reaches over to pet his fevered skull, “Shhhh, we’ll give you another pill in a few hours (when mine starts to wear off.") Siren groans at the pat pats and assurances. Nothing, and he means NOTHING helps the burn!   
At long last Gaster emerges with a thumbs up despite his blackened eye. “Mission success.” He smiles it off. Doc slips his work bandanna off his skull, revealing he already possesses a few cracks. A bit horrified, Edge moves the end of the loveseat, taking out his med kit. “Sit down. I think there’s some ointment for bruises in here.” he digs around in the case, pulling gauze and wipes. Gaster waves off his aid, taking a slurp of tea. “It’s fine now Edge. I heal fast.” 

Doc’s vectors place the rest of the tea on the low-table near the couch. “Okay buddies, be careful it’s hot.” The duck nudges a cup to Siren and Edge. Their medic takes his with a shaky hand, sipping away his Heat-addled mind with a calming hum.   
“Before we go further.” Edge interjects, holding his own tea, “Do we need to worry about you also going into Rut, or should I find a room to lock father in?” Gaster spits his tea. “Me?” he sputters, “I-I would never do something like that!” Doc wipes his leg with a clean oil rag. “Well I’m not risking it.” Edge mutters, popping a surprise pill past his teeth. “Take it.” Gaster almost chokes. 

“That’s harsh.” ruffles Humphrey, dipping his bill into his own bowl. Edge frowns delicately. “What, do you WANT baby bones running around here?” Gestures to their quaint little hideout while Gaster stuffs his embarrassment behind a, “No comment.” The duck surfaces from his tea “I think that would depend on the consenting adults.” Humphrey rants, wings flitting about and tea-stained tie swishing. Edge waits politely for him to finish. The little duck stops to breathe. “Okay, let’s say we’re in a building surrounded by zombies.”   
**GASP!**  
“What?” Edge blinks owlish at Humphrey’s upset.   
“We don’t call them that!” the duck insists. "What, Zombies?" Edge clears his throat. “Babies take up supplies we don’t have; diapers, clothing.. food. They scream and cry. Overall smell bad. A snack tray for any zo-” He stutters to a stop “Babies are small and vulnerable.” he finishes. Humphrey’s mind, already miles away envisions that scenario. Going into a building for supplies, running into Them and trying to sneak away.. when a baby starts squalling. They’d be surrounded quicker than ants over a July picnic. He grips at his little striped tie. “That wouldn’t be pretty...” He’d nearly been an appetizer himself.   
“Drop it.” Gaster huffs. 

Edge sips calmly, crooking a brow at the moose antlers stand doc uses to dry laundry. Primitive but nostalgic. “If we were someplace safe like Uncle’s Ranch there’d be no chance of losing a family.. But his place is pretty far away.” Siren whines and claws at the couch, Doc’s presence getting to him.   
"Help me, PLEAAAAASE!!!" Edge sighs at Siren. “You’re in Heat. Not dying, Old Man.” To the elderly skeleton is certainly feels like it; like a piece of particle glass slow-turned in a 1200 Celsius kiln, barely able to retain his shape. His sanity. “Where is this Ranch, Edge?” Doc sounds supremely interested, and a bit husky. “Is it remote?” 

Biker closes the back door with his usual finesse. **SLAM!** “WHY is he still caterwauling!” Papyrus growls at Siren. Edge sets down his cup, scowling all the way from across the room at him. “Because he’s in HEAT! Do I need to give you the birds and bees talk?” Edge’s voice starts to climb near to shouting again. This whole situation is nothing but frustration being locked in with the biker’s ego.

Gaster rubs the side of his cup, wanting peace. “Inside voice, Pappy.” Papyrus answers him with a petulant NYEH! The cup is set down a bit roughly “Pappy, you will treat them with the same respect.” With Papyrus presence Siren’s reached the wailing stage.   
"Plea-he-heaaaaaseeeeee!!!!!!" Siren digs at the couch. Edge turns to face Papyrus. “is there a room we can lock him in?” The Biker jabs his thumb to the back, “There’s an upstairs office. We cleared most of the junk to keep extra supplies in there.” He narrows his red eyes at Edge “you can use it, but if I find even ONE ration of food missing...”

He looks pointedly at Gaster “I’ll put you out.”

Edge in challenge tears off the couch, standing toe-to-toe with Papyrus despite their height difference. “LISTEN and listen good. There’s only ONE thing on Siren’s mind.” he pokes the behemoth in his barreled chest. “He won’t give a rat’s ass about your rations.. but he might hump a couch or pillow.” Edge speaks possibly from experience. “That’s about it.”   
Papyrus looks down at the finger poking him. Then scrolls his ruby eyes back up, meeting Edge’s face with a dangerous glint. “How long will your friend be like that? He questions.   
The elegant skeleton sniffs. “So you can get out of Rut? A week at most.”   
"A-A WHOLE WEEK!? YOU SERIOUSLY THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH SUPPLIES TO LAST THAT LONG, BETWEEN ALL FIVE OF US??"   
“OH my stars above!” Edge looks heavenward for patience. “Do you think I can control it, you arrogant prick!!?” Now they are both shouting. “Siren won’t eat much in his state. It would be a miracle if we can get him to eat. At all!!”

“Edge” Gaster meekly adds, “I think Pappy means how many Suppressors we have.. Our supplies may not last indefinite but we have enough.” he motions to the shop and their choice of transport. “A month at best; but maybe we should load up and take to the road.” Papyrus folds his arms at the suggestion. Gaster goes on “Maybe we can find Sansy.” He sweetens the deal. “And Sister.” petting Papyrus stiff shoulder. Edge ponders the medicine bottle in his hand, then smirks “A road trip, huh. What do you think “Pappy?” he taunts Biker. “Spike left out fifteen more cache boxes. We could go get them then hit Uncle Dredge’s Ranch. It’s guaranteed zombie free.”   
“You’re bullshitting me, brat.” Papyrus barks a laugh.  
“We don’t call them zombies!” Humphrey quacks indignation. He’s ignored.   
“Think you can handle the road, Warrior?” Edge teases the Dom.   
“Nyeh, well it’s better than rotting in this city.” Papyrus begrudges.

“Buuuh, I meant a raid. What bout my garage! Pappy, this is our home.” Doc breaks out near to tears, realizing he has to leave all his hard work behind. “You’ll live.” Biker reasons. “There’s plenty of junk cars out there and gadgets to toy with. Besides, you constantly complain about lack of stimulation.”  
“And Dredge’s barn is big." Edge cuts in "Bigger than your shop.” he bargains with Gaster. “You can have the whole thing for a garage if you like, Doc.” He gives the mechanic a moment to envision it. "Four-car garage with a high ceiling and all the fixings. Double steel sliding doors and carpeted flooring.." Gaster goes starry-eyed “When do we leeeave?”   
“That’s up to “Pappy Dear.” Edge blech’s his tongue, regretting his words, the endearment leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Worse yet The Dom is no longer standing near, he’s folding laundry. Ignoring him, the nerve! “That’s right, Pappy, you need to consider your own Rut.” Doc nods from afar.   
Edge folds his arms. “Then we’re on a first-name basis. Fuck code names.” 

“LANGUAGE!” 

“Oh thank goodness. Scout made me sound like a kid selling popcorn. I’m Humphrey Bo duck and don’t you forget it.” he wags his feathered tail.   
“Well, since we’re sharing” Doc smiles “I’m actually Wingdings. But everyone in workshop called me Dings.” Edge smirks at him. “Hey Ding-A-Ling. I’m Edge.”   
Ding huffs at that “And I immediately regret telling you mine.” he mock despairs.   
Edge sets his cup down, joining the late introductions. “This is Doctor M.D. Sirenius, but he prefers Siren.” Siren is currently busy rolling and mewling on the couch. The occasional moans and bone snaps are getting to Gaster. What Siren is doing, It’s borderline erotic! He turns his body quickly in the other direction, purple faced.  
“Hah! Ding-A-Ling fits.” Humphrey quacks.   
“Well, what about Siren?” doc worries. One step out of their shelter in his state and they might as well ring the dinner bell for every Hunter in the city.  
“Put him in the office.” Papyrus grumbles still folding. “Who’s going to carry him up?” in the tone of ‘it won’t be me.’

Edge cut in, “Trust me, we don’t want a monster in Rut carrying him.”   
Papyrus ignores his barb, stacking his prized concert shirts.   
“Ding-A-Ling, why don’t you do it.” Edge insists. Gaster flusters, “Just Dings, please!” Dings approaches the couch “Sirenius,” Gaster speaks to him “Please let me carry you upstairs?”   
Since doc is at level with the couch, Siren stuffs his nose in Gaster’s crotch. Mewling. Gaster goes deaf and dumb at the private inspection.

While Edge and Papyrus continue their squabble. “Paps, It’s not like you haven’t had rut before.” Edge wheedles, adapting his nickname. “I haven’t.” Papyrus confirms “There was only Sister in our household. And she.. went off to boarding school.” (Before shit hit the fan.) Papyrus feature’s sunk in with worry, eyes losing their determined fire. “Just us idiots under one roof. So no, I’ve never had to deal with Rut.” Edge looked incredulous “Hmmmm, you’ve never dealt with child-bearing males before?” A grunt of “Again, no.”   
Edge made the mistake of looking back, taking in the crotch face with a "NRYAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!" Slapping his knee at Gaster's expense. 

Siren licks and nuzzles Gaster’s groin, "Pleeaaaassseeeee~!!" while Gaster flaps both his arms.  
"Th-th-there's no ngh need for that!" Soul thumping loudly in his ears, Doc manages to lift Siren off and up into his arms. Medic immediately leg-locks Ding’s waist; wiggling and humping.   
“But I neeeeeed iiiit." Mismatched eye lights aglow with excess magic latched onto Gaster.   
One a stunning gold and the other reminiscent of a clear blue sky. With DESIRE.  
"DINGS, don't let him tempt you!" Edge warns. "While you're on the medicine he can still be tempting." (“Don’t I believe it!”) Gaster thought to himself. “Th-thank yo-you for thew-waaarning-ngh!" It’s so distracting when Siren won’t keep still!  
Papyrus scrunches his nose in absolute disgust, “IF YOU BREED GASTER, I’LL HAVE YOU CASTRATED!” he threatens. "I know Pappyyy." Doc whines, peeling Siren's hand off his neck.   
“Be good now, Siren.”   
Edge speaks to Papyrus as Ding carries Siren away. “He’s not going to last.”   
Gaster wobbles towards the door.  
“He’d better.” Papyrus snarls.

All the way up the stairs Doc’s submitted to HUMP this and WIGGLE WAGGLE that. Siren pants heavy against Ding’s neck, moaning. Pleading. He claws Gaster’s resisting arms.  
“I need... I need it..!!!" Siren begs, stellar eyes tugging at Doc’s soul strings. He digs in his proverbial heels, shaking his head. (It’s not his fault) "N-No you don't. You just think so because your body wants it." The mechanic marches like a good soldier, carrying their medic up the flight of steps. “We barely know one another. It would be awkward.” Doc reasons. Siren's hot breath hits Ding's lower jaw. He nuzzles on Gaster and keeps up the humps.   
"Bu..But I need.. Need.. NhhhH!!!"

Downstairs Edge pulls out the map laying it over the low table.   
"Since you're the driver, Pappy. What route should we take to get there?" He circles a place on the map. "Here's the Ranch." Papyrus approaches the table “That’s a lot of land.”   
Edge smirks “Fifty acres to be exact.” With a river running through it, and plenty of room to build and cultivate. An off-grid dream!

Gaster set Siren down with iron-clad restraint, pulling a blanket for him from the supply closet. “I’m so sorry, Sirenius.” draping the blanket over his shoulders “Please don’t think badly of me.” Doc’s vectors kept the heated monster at bay “If you feel like you’re going to crash there’s a sedative in the desk top drawer.” Siren’s too out of it to register what Gaster’s saying, instead he mewls and calls for Dings.   
“Goodnight.” 

At the coffee table Papyrus examines their map, long phalanges pinning it down. “We’ll take the truck route up highway fifty-six.” He trails the line with his index. “Around the State Park then up this trail here.” Remote and with minimal encounters. It sounded good but Edge shook his head at Papyrus. “The bridge going that way gave out a couple years ago.” He points on the map to what appears to be a thin dirt road. “This is a little out of our way but it’ll get us across the river.”

Papyrus went silent, considering the alternative. “Hnn that could work. There’s a guard station at the cross point. A possible encounter with undead rangers; but I’ll take it.” Edge nods his agreement. “Beats meeting the hoard near a damaged bridge.” Papyrus grunts “We’ll do that.” rolling up the map. “Now that we have our route we need to pack before bed. Grab only what you need.” 

Gaster shoves a hand over his chest once the back room door is shut, leaning into the wood frame… That’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. (“Poor Siren..”) Papyrus notices him “Oh good, you came back dressed.” Gaster makes a fist. “That isn’t funny, Pappy. He’s suffering upstairs. Alone.” Doc passes the bedroll to Edge, Edge takes it. “What do you expect any of us to do, Gaster?” He puts out a hand. “Siren’s medicine stopped working on him. Nothing short of fucking will cure it.” A sad frown. “All we can do is wait it out.”   
Papyrus reels on the panting monster. “I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING GASTER, AND I’M FRESH OUT.” He checks the back of his bike anyway. “I threw out the expired ones.” He takes the map from Edge. “Fresh out of what?” Edge asks both males, bedroll opened. Gaster huffs “Nevermind then.” Biker closes his satchel. “Goodnight.” Edge gets in Papyrus way, demanding “Out of what!? What do you both mean?” 

“Rubbers.” Papyrus unfolds his arms “Condoms. Love socks. You’d be surprised how hard they are to get.” he mumbles. Edge goes all red, “Ahh..” Clearing his throat. The medic turns his attention back to his bedroll. “What were you fucking to make you “fresh out” Biker?” 

“My boyfriend, of course.”   
“He dumped him.” Gaster whispers helpfully to Edge “and good riddance.” Narrowly missing a deadly swipe from Biker’s claws. He dances out of range. “Sorry Pappy but it’s true.”   
Edge digests this. “Hn.. Really? Mine left me at the altar.” He scowls before shaking off the memory; flopping on his cushy couch bed. “Oh well, who needs them anyway?” Gaster takes his shocked hand off his mouth. “I’m sorry..” Papyrus turns away. “Misfits is a fitting name for our gang. And whoever they were, Edge.” He speaks to him directly “They did not deserve you and must have realized it. Setting you free was a better deal than going into a marriage blind.” Having his say Biker stalks back to his chair. 

Arms crossed behind his arms Edge harumph's "I’m not torn up over it. Bastard was a cheating Ho. I didn’t find out about his side chick until three days after.”   
Humphrey hops up on the couch. “That’s awful! I hope he got eaten by a Hunter.”   
“HUMPHREY!” Gaster loses his calm, “We don’t wish grisly death from Hunters, even on our worst enemy.” Humphrey shakes his plumage. “Speak for yourself.. He'd definitely deserve it.” 

Edge shrugs at Papyrus “I got out all my grievances and any hopes of starting a family with that monster anyway. It happened years ago. I’m over it.” He rolled to his side, something important niggling at his conscience. He flip-Flops to his other side then, “HOLD UP! We have to pack so we can leave early! Everyone, up and pack. Now!” Humphrey loafs a groan “Please, five more minutes.” Papyrus’s chair squeaks from the open door. “NYEHE, Good. You finally noticed.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tea time, Siren needs it bad, and Papyrus is still a douche bone.


	6. Booze and Smokes

Gaster shoves the pillow over his head. Edge pulls it off. For a second, even third time. When did this become a game? "Argh, Dings." Edge grumbles "Pack now, or we'll leave all your shit." Wingdings grumbles surrender, pushing himself up from the seat. Edge crosses to Spike next, stuffing a hand in his coat pockets.. only to pull them out in horror. "Oh, Spike! Gross!!" he comes up with a handful of condoms, hastily stuffing them back in. Some packets incriminatingly slip out and scatter across the floor. Gaster perks up at Edge's find.

A few hasty condoms in Doc’s pockets he helps Papyrus pack their supplies. Gaster trips over his words, still effected. "Wh-What is Medic going to do, Pappy? I can hear (and smell him) from down here. The Hunters will surely hear h-him." But the party wouldn’t hear a Hunter until it was already on them. Ironic that. The fact they hadn't encountered one lately didn't bode well.

"You have the sedatives, Right?” Edge inquires to Dings. Papyrus answered for him. "Yes, we do. Gaster, give him one." Doc squeaked out a "ME!?" hands on his chest. Papyrus grumbled, "Did I stutter? I'm busy. You can handle something that simple, right?" Amazing how his brother could make that sound like a compliment and an insult in one breath. Doc moves for the stairs. “Yes. I shall.”

Meanwhile, Edge tosses the condoms (and Spike) in the bus "Both of you stop arguing and do what you need to do! NOW!" His raging hormones are making him snippy. Gaster scurries upstairs. Papyrus kits up his bike as well, treating her with all the care of a lover. "I swear, it's like being a mother to toddlers!" Edge sniffs "Now what else is there to pack?"

Gaster meanwhile unlocks the door. Is.. Is that STEAM on the glass?" Siren is still there, rolling and mewling on the floor; legs splayed. Hearing the click of the lock he goes from mewls to whines. The door creaks open. "H-hi, uh I'm back. Don't mind me." He moves a foot in, meaning to run for the desk. Siren stalks on hands and knees, panting and mewling "Nhhh, Pleeeaaassseeee!!" Gaster spares him and empathetic look. "You're really bad, huh? Hold on, this'll help." Doc steps around Siren, rushing to the desk.

Bike loaded Papyrus and Humphrey scout the lot for any movement.. So far so good.

Siren lowers his upper half to the floor and lets out a loud whine "Nnoooo, Pleeeaaaaaasssssseeeee!!! NNhhhhH!!!" mewling loud and insistent. Edge hears it from upstairs but keeps his eyes on Papyrus in case the other needs help. Gaster knows it's dangerous, Medic making all that noise" **CREEEEAK!** Gaster opens the desk, taking the syringe and pocketing the others. He preps then steps over his new friend, pulling his face up for a muffling kiss. Siren greedily takes the bait, drooling into Doc's mouth. Gaster administers the sedative by collarbone. Siren let's out a pained mewl; eyes drooping. He feels heavy in Ding's hold before quickly, mercifully passing out. Gaster apologizes again, purple faced. "I'm sorry. Let's go." He carries Siren downstairs. The monster's limp in Ding's arms, sleeping soundly thanks to the sedation. Edge spots them. "Okay good. Now put him on the couch and get your stuff packed up." Doc nods, tucking Medic into the blankets. Then Gaster rushes back inside to grab a few things; including a worn picture and some tech books in his duffel bag. Certain most if not all the stuff is packed Edge flops onto his bedroll. They finish packing with a three hours to spare. Papyrus by then actually feels tired, blanket mushed over his face in a cattish doze.

They all shamble to the bus later, blankets and pillows in arm. There’s nothing like the fresh smell of diesel in the morning. Today it was Doc's turn to play the tunes. Some old cassette lumbers out a country ballad. Edge sat in the opposite seat of Papyrus closest to the front to navigate. Gaster sat behind him with Siren and Humphrey. "You both make sure he stays asleep." Edge cautions "The last thing we need is him alerting our presence." Gaster swallowed. "Okay." Bundling up on the furthest seat next to Pappy's motorcycle. Humphrey is just happy to be on a road trip instead of a raid, tucking into his wing for a snooze.

Once he's sure Gaster is asleep Papyrus speaks out of the blue, "Edge, I'm dropping you all off at the Ranch, once we get there... I'm not wasting another chance to find the other two. After seeing those THINGS and what they can do to Humans and Monsters..." Edge gets what he's saying but doesn't like it. "You plan on abandoning us then? What if you get bit and need help??" the copilot frowns. "Do you even know where they are?" Papyrus glances his way. "Yes and no. I have a vague idea of Sans's whereabouts. My sister... She was taken to St. Maria's School for Girls." Edge puffs his cheeks. "Then I'm going with you." Siren gives a groan, rubbing his eyes in sleep. "I won't argue it" Papyrus speaks softer, "But we still have to get to the Ranch." Edge lowers the map to his lap "Don't be surprised if we return with a surprise or two.. Always expect the unexpected, Pappyroo."

**WHUMP!**

Papyrus hits a pothole dead-on at Edge's flirt. He croaks back, "P-Papyrus, that is my full name. It's annoying to be called anything else. Our mom started that. Call me as you like but at least make it creative." A pause. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Edge moves a bit, somehow they got off topic. "Who knows how long we'll be gone for.. And that sedation option won't last. You do the math." Papyrus grunts a "Yes, that's why we're taking the Pass."

Siren lets out a soft whimper at the road bump, mewling lightly at first before crying his confusion. Edge reels on Gaster. "DINGS! Wake up!! I told you to keep on it!" Gaster pulls Siren into his lap for another kiss; syringe in his pocket. He groans into Medic's teeth, movements sluggish. Medic mewls into the kiss, bucking at the touch. Whimpering.

Edge Rubs at his tired eyes "Make the next left turn. That's the detour road."

Papyrus uses his turn signal. "Force of habit." while Gaster struggles to get the sedation in Medic's system ("Sorry, sorry I have to do this again.") Siren was back out of it before he was aware that he'd woken up. "On this road, we should be there in forty-five minutes." Edge lowers the map. "So.... what are your siblings like, Papyrus?" Papyrus loosens the wheels grip "Sans is brash, a slob and decent chemist. Atty is a mom friend, trying to please and care for everyone else. She's boisterous and naïve." Edge smiles warmly. "They sound like a great family." He grows serious, "How far away is this school your sister went to, and where do you think your brother is?"

"Sans was at a frat party when the you-know-what hit the fan. Over in Lauderdale. Sis went out to the middle of nowhere. A denominational retreat to suit her needs for validation; out of state, where we could not possibly reach her in time.." His hands grip the wheel tighter. "But I'm certain she's still there." Edge frowns at that. "Your brother is a chemist.. A chemist and a doctor in one room...." Then suddenly, "PAPYRUS, WE NEED TO GET TO YOUR BROTHER, ASAP!" Papyrus laughs at his enthusiasm, having had the same idea. "I could not agree more. Lauderdale is on route to the farm."  
"Ranch."  
"Nyeh, whatever."  
Edge perks up again "Is it on the way?" he pulls the map to check. Papyrus points to the sign up ahead, It reads: "Lauderdale Campus." Edge climbs off his seat "What's your brother look like?" He asks Papyrus, scrambling to the front. "I will help keep an eye out for him!" Papyrus nods "Sans is rounded. Short. Under five feet. Penchant for the F word. Sounds like a moron but his mind is like a bear trap. He wears the same clothes for days and smells like fermented mustard." Storing that info away Edge loads the rifle. **KACHIK!** "We can't leave these guys..." Frowning back at Gaster, Siren, and Resident Quacks. "Who'll keep guard of the bus?" Humphrey pops his head up from the cuddle pile "I will." Edge is askance. "I'm not putting the fate of my father figure in the hands (wings) of a duck!" "There's a reason they called me Scout, buddy."  
  
Papyrus Nyehckles at that "You wouldn't know but this duck is trained in combat."

Edge's eyes narrow "Mmmhmm, I don't like it but fine. I swear if you all become zombies, I'm strangling your short neck, feather butt!" He threatens Humphrey then turns to the driver. "Papyrus, hide the bus and let's go hunting." Papyrus chooses the space between a copse of tree over close to the College dormitory. "Stella, it's your time to shine." Biker pets his custom Motorcycle with affection. "Don't get bit either!" Humphrey waves to the pair then shuts the blinds. Edge checks his safety. It's off. "Let's get this over with..." The Bikes motor is subdued from a growl to a purr. Papyrus offers his helmet to Edge before they get on, speeding off towards Campus. Edge has the rifle ready to fire should any zombies leap out. Papyrus warns over shoulder "Don't take a shot unless you have to." Edge grunts his understanding back.

There's a thick foliage around the walls of the buildings. Along the walkways the wild grass and weeds have overtaken the scenic path up to registration quarter. Then there are the cars, most in states of decay while a few look "rushed" that is to say cars blocking anyone from driving in or out. There's a telltale cop car, some old blood stains in the back seat. Neat. Edge breaks the silence "THAT." he points accusingly at the car "That's blocking the other cars!" HE puffs his cheeks "Are we there yet?" The Bike putters around the back "Yes." Papyrus puts the kickstand down then relieves Edge of his helmet. "There's a map of Campus over there, Sans showed it to me our first visit." Edge climbs off the parked bike, rifle at the ready. He takes a look around.. It's barren out here. It really hits home how far the infection reached... perhaps that very building houses the undead. Papyrus is on the alert as well. He steps silently to the map. "Chem Lab is on B2." Edge takes out a pistol from his hidden holster and hands it to Papyrus. "Keep an eye on my back." He moves up the steps of the Campus. Cook grabs the door handle. "You lead the way once we're inside." Papyrus blinks at the change of command but nods. He has no intention to fire the gun, preferring the hunting knife strapped to his belt. Edge pushes open the doors. "Empty?"

Even the air smells stale and moldy. "Hn." Papyrus takes the lead, walking down the core hallway towards the elevators. Edge follows close behind, sniffling. It was as if the place had been cleared out for a long time. No stench of rotting flesh. NO blood or corpses.. It's like this place was just abandoned instead of zombie raided... "Strange." Edge thinks aloud. Papyrus notices as well. "It is. Stay alert." The stairwell is pristine, not even a dead bug or rat along the way as they reach the bottom of the flight reading Basement 2. Edge lifts his rifle "B2. Now, what room is Sans in? Or.. should be in.." Papyrus slow blinks back, considering Edge's question. "Room four, that's where brother mentioned their latest project." Edge starts down that way. He keeps the rifle trained, heeled boots squeaking with each step. They reach the door with no incident. Edge grabs the handle, twisting it. There's a reaction, a spark of magic and a growl. Papyrus rushes to put himself in front of Edge. A loaded gun points at their heads. Angry yellow eyes glare from under a heavy, furred hood. The monster's a startling eight, maybe a half, feet with a flashing gold tooth. He meets Papyrus eyes dead on. "WHO SENT YERS?" The stranger snarls. Edge sputters as he's pushed back by Papyrus. "Where's. My. Brother!" Hand still on his knife "You pull that trigger on us and every walker will come rushing in like it's Happy Hour at the drive-in." The stranger "Heh's" at them, smoke drifting lazily through his teeth "Zat so?"

"I take it he isn't Sans then." Edge speaks. The stranger's brow bone hitches then his long finger lifts off the trigger. Scruffy hood gets WHOMPED on the back. "DAS' MAH BRO RUSS, ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!!" The Chemist barks. The taller skeleton whines at the attack on his spine "Sorry Sansy, din't know." Edge shoves his rifle in Russ's face. Sans hands shoot up in surrender for both of them. "Easy, eaaasy. Ta be fair Russ din't know my bro would come here. Heh, damn you been busy." Sans waggles a brow at his rescuers. Russ "Pffff"s at that. "Shut up!" Edge barks "We came to get you." He stares at Sans. "Huh.. shorter than I thought you'd be." Edge shakes his head. "Anyway, grab your shit. We have sanctuary and need your help, Sans." Sans ruffles his lab coat. "We were kinda in the middle of somethi-" Russ SHOVES him aside. "Say you got smokes and booze then we gotta deal, Pumpkin." _FLIRT FLIRT!_ Edge bares his teeth. "We have smokes and booze. Now move your asses before the doctor wakes up!" San's crimson eyes alight. "Just a sec, come in while I get the last batch." Just then there was a loud mewl that echoed across Campus. "SON OF A BITCH, SIREN!" Edge rages. "I TOLD DINGS TO KEEP HIM IN CHECK!!" The effeminate turns his frustration on Sans, growling, "Hurry it up!"

Gaster's having trouble getting the needle in Medic's arm so he goes for the leg, pulling the fevered skeleton over his lap. He tries not to think about his wiggling hips. Humphrey looks ready to shart all over the bus roof, bill darting left and right for any signs of trouble. Gaster smooches Siren again (SHUT UP ALREADY!) sticking him in the thigh bone.

Russ snickers at them "Gotta go Sansy. Das sounds like a dinner bell to the lankers." Edge stamps an impatient foot. "Hurry up Sans or I'm DRAGGING you out myself!" "LOL Okay." Sans lab smells of cannabis and rat piss. Whatever they were doing in here has be against several college codes. Empty beer cans, unwashed bedrolls, overfilled trash bin full of pizza boxes and takeout, a worn board game littering the floor. Wait, was that Twister? Edge looks to Papyrus, "Get ready in case the zombies head for us." Papyrus nods as Edge continue, "The faster we get to the van, the faster we get to safety, Sans." "OR we could just Teleport?" Russ slinks past Edge "Where didya park, Dollface?" Papyrus starts to fume at the incessant flirting. Edge ignores it. "Behind the Campus around the dead trees." He taps an impatient foot. No WONDER Papyrus spoke of his brother with mixed frustration and affection. The guys a little shit!

"Done." Sans chirps. Russ spits out his cig, opening his arms wide; Sans has hold of his waist "Group Hug." The bean pole gives a gathering motion with his arms, as if he's the hen and they are the chicks. "Tch. FINE." Edge shoves Papyrus to the two, grabbing Russ's wrist. But that's all. Russ's chuckles fade with them, reappearing a second later behind the Campus at ground level. Edge leaps onto the bus pulling out the bottle of Suppressors. Just one. "You both stop humping and get Medic sedated again!" "I already did." Gaster deadpans.

Chef yoinks Russ and Sans into the Van. "DRIVE!" Sure enough the zombies are fast approaching! They crawl out of the woodworks, drooling and snarling and screeching. Thankfully all Human thus far. Siren mewls loudly in the background. Russ sits in the back enamored with the Bike, hearts floating in his eyes. Sans straps into his seat (knowing how Paps drives) "Get us ooout of here, Bro." In response the wheels screech. **VRRMMMHHHH!** Edge waits until they're on the road before he huffs "By the way, I lied. There is no booze or smokes." Russ man-handles Stella's leather seat. "I'll take THIS then, Hu Hu." he teases. Papyrus looks ready to murder him. "NO YOU WILL NOOT!" Edge barks. "YOU'RE WELCOME TO THE CONDOMS BUT THE BIKE IS NOT FOR YOU!" In reply Russ snickers, "Jealous, Snookums?" It gets dead quiet. Sans breaks a sweat "Uhhhh so how ya been bro?" he cuts through the tension. Edge however, "REEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Call me that one more time!! I DARE you!" Russ gives a shit eating grin at Edge "How bout Pussycat?" Gaster cringes. Russ finds a water bottle chucked at his head. He catches it. Edge lets out a "WARNING NUMBER 1! Your. ONLY. Warning!" "Psst, Russ. Tone it down." Sans whispers to the horny bastard. Russ ignores them, focusing on the road and sweet Sweet Home Alabama. Edge pops the Suppressor into his mouth, swallowing it dry. WHOOPS, Road Cone. Or was that a zombie? The world may never know.  
  
**BUMPITY BUMP!**

Edge spits out his Suppressor by accident "WHAT THE FUCK, Papyrus!!!" Papyrus veeers in to hit the zombies. Russ plucks up the pill "Need this?" He holds it with index and thump, offering it to Edge. Edge grunts in reply, shaking the bottle in his hands; pulling out another one. "KEEP it. Shove it in your insufferable ass for all I care." he swallows "LANGUAGE!" the driver bellows. Russ pockets the Suppressor "You don't need that, Hon." He croons, weaving his head like a snake (Is he high or something?) maybe, possibly. Sans takes up navigator duty, looking over their map. Edge, calmer now takes a drink of water "I will assume you have no idea what it is. So I will let it slide." Russ tuts at him "You smell like a hot fudge sundae Darlin', course I know what's up. And them things are made of expired ingredients." he points out to Edge's bottle "Weakens their potency." Edge gives him a nasty look "They were pulled from a supply drop. It's better than nothi-WHY AM I STILL TALKING TO YOU?!!  
REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Russ ignores his outburst, brows waggling "I could whip you up something better." FLIR FLIRT FLIRT! Edge shouts "I AM NOT LOOKING TO GET KNOCKED UP!" Russ leas over, dropping to Edge's height "Honey." Hands in his pockets "Your mouth is contradicting your soul." His golden yellow eyes affix, licking his false tooth "You don't have to look, but... Like what you see?" Papyrus grinds the gear a bit rough. "Caareful Paps. Eyes on tha road, Bro." (Don't drive us into the ditch!)

Face red Edge shoves Russ away, hand on the other's face "FUCK OFF AND SIT DOWN YOU IDIOT." Russ takes his little victory cinching into the seat. "M'kay." Sans whispers to the driver "Please tell me you gotta plan, Pappy." Papyrus face burns in an embarrassed flush "O-Of course I do. WE'RE CROSSING WOODLAND PARKS, AROUND THE MOUNTAIN BRIDGE PASS AND THEN" he softens "Well, the destination is not guaranteed. But at least we're out of dodge." Papyrus sniffs, putting in a different tape. Ring of Fire cuts through the malaise of the group. Edge confirms, "We're going to my Uncle Dredge's Ranch." arms crossed, blush fading. "Then we can plan from there when we're not at risk of zombies roaming around." Sans red eyes narrow, "Yeh..? An Where's Atty in that equation?" Papyrus winces at that, keeping his eyes glued to the road. "You and the rest are going to stay at the Ranch." Edge confirms. He eyes Sans, DARING him to speak against it. "Papyrus and I are going to look for her." Sans lounges back in his seat. "Fair nuff, never been there. Atty stopped sending letters like a year ago. After she went on and on about this teacher who the sun apparently shines out of his arse." Sans growls like an angry cat. Edge has to add "Pffft, maybe they fucked." The cook pulls out the bottle and checks the date.. Shit, Russ was right. Expired over a month. ("No wonder the medicine was working less and less.") Sans throws his empty bottle of water, hitting the side of Edge's skull. Edge hisses, "OH YOU ARE DEAD!!!" unbuckling from his seat. Sans got up in his mug, growling "MY SIS AINT THAT WAY."  
  
"SANS, I WILL TURN THIS BUS AROUND!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate Flirting, we meet Sans, Russ, and Edge drops the F bomb.


End file.
